I was getting my Daily Show on. Because it's the weekend and I have time. Now, sometimes Hulu says, "would you like to watch the long-form commercial of something or another instead of the normal commercial breaks?" Normally I say no when I'm watching a 30 minute show on the off chance that I get a 2.5 minute long commercial when normally I only get 1.5 minutes of commercials (I'm a mathematician; I can't help it).
Hulu very politely asks me, "Would you like to watch the Kohler advanced toilet long-form commercial?"
Like the questions "Do you want to smell this? It smells awful," and "Can your farts save your buddy from drowning," (If you haven't watched at least one episode of MANswers, you should give it a shot just to see how dumb the male species is) this question only has one answer: Fuck yes.
So I'm watching in awe as a camera pans around a bathroom which is nearly the ballsiest I've ever seen (the first being in my grandfather's house). In the middle of the room sat the toilet, and on three sides were full room-height windows. "Lid and seat open and close automatically," drifted across the screen. "Fuck me," thought I, "this device can prevent 25% of all divorces in the United States!" Next came, "heated seat" and "warms your feet."
But wait, there's more. This toilet comes with a wireless touchscreen remote control. If you haven't passed out from shock, perhaps you didn't hear me. A WIRELESS TOUCHSCREEN REMOTE CONTROL. FOR YOUR TOILET.
All this can be yours for the low low price of $4,000.
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